DWELL Missional Church of Burlington, Vermont - A Vermont Church Seeking to be missional in all areas of life.

Posted by: Zach Hoag | 08/17/2009 | Leave a Comment(5)

Our next Redemption Story comes from our friend Rachel Nixon. Rachel is a good family friend of my wife and I, and she grew up going to Jericho Congregational Church. She is currently attending Johnson and Wales University in Providence, RI, but we were absolutely pumped when she expressed a desire to join us for baptism on August 30th. It will be a great honor to take part in this with Rachel and her friends and family...and you'll understand why when you read this awesome story of God's grace and love in her life.

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The Beginning - High School and Before: "Lord, by Your favor You have made my mountain stand strong; You hid your face, and I was troubled" (Psalm 30:7).

When I was in elementary school, my parents became Christians and we started attending church and Sunday school. In 7th grade I started going to youth group, where I met a terrific bunch of girls that had great relationships with the Lord. Their love for God and His Son, Jesus, was so attractive. There was a warm presence about them that seemed to overflow into my heart. We went to camp and on retreats and had many long talks about God, Jesus and the Bible. I wanted to live a life of joy and peace like these girls. And so I did - kind of.

I started my freshmen year with sound morals, a strong character, and an optimistic view on life. Soccer took up most of my time in high school; I loved playing the sport with my new friends, who were also on the team. However, soon distractions began to creep in, mainly in the form of guys. They started noticing me and asking me out. This was something I had never experienced before. Still, I stayed strong in my convictions through most of my freshmen year. Going to Young Life with my brother helped a lot because the leaders talked about Christ in fun and unconventional ways.

However, towards the end of my freshmen year, I had fallen away from my youth group friends. I was still going to Young Life, but mainly because all the older, popular kids went. By the time I was a sophomore, I had stopped attending church regularly and only went to Young Life occasionally - it seemed to have lost its meaning for me. God was getting drowned out by other things, like drinking and partying.

College Life - Take 1: "But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives" (1 Timothy 5:6).

By the time I got to college, my partying had intensified. I was never really into drugs; clubbing and alcohol were more my style. I took great interest in things that the world says is important. These things involved boys, the latest fashions, dieting, and making good grades. However, by my junior year in college, society's pressures began to suffocate me. Everything that used to delight me was losing its appeal. Emptiness filled me. My heart ached inside me. What was wrong with me?

I became obsessed with what I ate and how I looked. After all, this was one area of my life that I could control. In other words, I worked out all the time and didn't eat much of anything. Most of my nutrition was derived from Martinis and salad with a few ice cream binges mixed in. All my efforts paid off: the compliments about my new figure streamed in. My latest boyfriend was captain of the hockey team.

Unfortunately, after only two months, he broke up with me... the week before Valentine's Day. I was devastated. Not so much by the fact that I had lost him as by the fact that he was willing to give me up. What was wrong with me? I was supposed to be the heartbreaker, not the other way around. All my hard work: the dieting, the exercising, the routine trips to the tanning bed, the clothes. Nothing seemed to pay off. I had been dumped. This hadn't happened to me since my freshmen year of high school. I had thought that I was always in control of my dating situations, but my recent boyfriend proved me quite wrong. The more I thought about my life, the more anxious I became. Boyfriends, parties, and dieting had become my life. I had given up most of the morals and all of the self respect that I once had. I longed to be strong and stand firm in my beliefs. But I had let my beliefs fly out the window.

My whole life seemed confused and was slowly slipping out of my control. I tried to compensate by doing the things I thought made me happy: A trip to the mall, a session in the tanning bed, a nice bottle of wine. But suddenly my "happiness fixes" weren't working anymore. In fact, they almost seemed to be contributing to the problem. The more I tried shopping, diets, boys, and alcohol, the emptier I felt.

College Life - Take 2: "The Lord is near to all who call upon him, to all who call upon him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them" (Psalm 145:18, 19).

I decided to take a road trip to Vermont for Valentine's. I would spend the weekend with mother. She would comfort me. I couldn't bear the thought of a dateless Valentine's back at school. I knew I would just be fixated on my ex and what he was doing. That night I lay in bed unable to sleep. I knew I should've had one more glass of wine! I felt pathetic. I was home on Valentine's weekend without a date. No chocolates, no flowers, no phone calls. On my night table my mother always had set devotional books. I picked up the most recent devotional book she had left there. It was about talking and listening to God's voice. I read a few pages then set the book back down. I got up out of bed and looked out the window. The sky was clear, the stars were shinning and the moon was bright. It was beautiful. I felt the same sense of awe I had felt as a little girl.

"Okay, God," I said. "If you are real, show me. If you truly care, show me. Give me a sign." I waited to hear God's voice. Silence. I stared at the moon expecting it to fall from the sky. It didn't. I kept waiting for something. Anything. I did feel a strange presence as I looked out across the meadow, but I couldn't tell if it was God -- or my alcohol buzz wearing off.

College Life - Take 3: "For you were once darkness, but now you are a light to the Lord. Walk as children of the light" (Ephesians 5:8).

I returned to school feeling just the same. The void inside my heart continued to grow. Each day I looked for something new to fill the emptiness. I couldn't understand why I felt like this. I had a wonderful life, my own apartment, a great family and amazing friends. I looked good, made good grades and was living the perfect college life. I literally had everything but a boyfriend. Perhaps that was the problem. If I got another boyfriend, then I would be satisfied. Or maybe if I lost a few more pounds I'd be happy. Or maybe if I bought that cute pair of shoes I'd be content.

The emptier I felt, the more I began to drink. However the parties had become dull and the club scene wasn't fun for me anymore. Something had changed. Now, when guys asked for my number and paid me compliments, I was annoyed. Strange. I used to be thrilled when this happened. Slowly I began to see things as they really are. How had I been so blind before? It was as if someone had lifted a curtain from my eyes. Even though my lifestyle disgusted me, I had no idea how I was ever going to change.

College Life - Take 4: "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith" (1 Peter 5:8, 9a).

When I wasn't drinking, scary thoughts began to creep into my head. I wanted something more than the life I was living. I kept remembering my life when I was strong in character. Back in eighth and ninth grade I could say no to alcohol. I wasn't obsessed with my looks or dating. I didn't have to live the way everyone else was living. My morals and beliefs all revolved around good things taught from the bible. I remembered how happy I was during those years of my life. I then became saddened and depressed. I had gone too far and done too many things that I was ashamed of. I could never return to the pureness and happiness I had experienced as a child. Surely God wouldn't forgive me. He seemed too far away to really care about me.

I was plagued by a recurring question, one I constantly tried to avoid: Is this as good as it gets? There had to be something more. As I considered my purpose in life, thoughts of death started to circle my brain. I wondered if I would go to heaven when I died. I knew I was young and still had a full life ahead of me, but I could not stop thinking about it. I started drinking even more to block out the thoughts. Soon I started to get a burning sensation in my chest and stomach.

A trip to the doctor confirmed that I had acute acid reflux. I remember the doctor saying he was relieved that he didn't see any tumors. That scared me! Tumors in my throat? That could kill me! What if I was going to die? Where would I end up? I was pretty sure I would go to heaven, but I wasn't positive. The fear started to get to me. Again I started wondering about God and what He thought of me. Was He sick of all the terrible things I had done in my life? I began feeling guilty, so I started praying and reading a daily devotional. Maybe that would make God like me a little more, and He would help me feel better. After all, nothing else seemed to work, especially not the partying. I begged God to show me what to do about this emptiness. I confessed that I needed Him and not what the world offered. I remember hearing my mother once say that God will always give you a way out of temptation. I prayed he would.

The next weekend I decided I was only going to binge drink one night. I was afraid my acid reflux would get worse if I drank more than that. After a long night of meaningless drinking, I woke up with a very real fear that I needed something more in my life. I felt I needed to change my life. I feared I just couldn't change because this lifestyle was who I had become. I didn't like this intense feeling. It was like darkness was trying to smother me. So I got up and opened a bottle of wine. I got through a glass and a half before I couldn't take the pain in my chest. My acid reflux was far from being cured and it was excruciating to drink. I set my glass down. What was I doing? I was literally killing myself right now. Drinking so much could cause tumors in my throat. My hangovers were making me sleep deprived. My dieting and over exercising was leaving me tired and too thin. I was wasting tons of money and effort on my appearance. None of it was making me happy, or validating me as a person. I was throwing my life away.

That day I made my mind up. I decided I was going to change; I wanted this darkness to leave me. That day I ran to the park. I sat on a bench and prayed. In short, I surrendered. I wanted the life God intended me to live. I prayed He would open my eyes to His truth. He did. The next day I woke to a whole new world. The darkness was still present, but there was a sense of hope. I could see a light through the dark tunnel.

College Life - Take 5: "No temptation has overtaken you except that such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make a way of escape, that you will be able to bear it" (1 Corinthians 10:13).

Slowly the light began to grow and I followed it. I started seeing the whole world in a different way. It was as if I had been blind before. I realized God had revealed His truth to me that night at the club, when I saw how repulsive my behavior was. There was nothing left to do. I turned from the darkness that was chasing me and ran straight into God's arms. Even though I was laden with guilt and shame, God kept whispering, "I love you."

I didn't know it at the time, but God was answering my prayers for a way out of my old life. He did this by giving me acid reflux. I told my friends I wouldn't be drinking or partying until it was cured. During my recovery, God changed my life and showed me that I never have to return to that lifestyle ever again.

One of the ways He showed me His love was by giving me a great Christian friend at school and a faithful accountability partner from home. God connected me with a college ministry where I have fellowship with other people who love Him, and a church, where I learned more about Him. I also started asking my parents questions about their faith and about this mysterious God who seemed to love me so much. They reassured me of His love for me and suggested I start reading the Bible.

Life Today - And Forever: "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. Therefore if the son makes you free, you shall be free indeed" (John 8:32, 36).

Throughout this journey, I've had bumps and doubts and fears, but God is faithful. There was a time recently when everything seemed dark. I still felt condemned about my past, and I feared God didn't -- couldn't -- love me anymore. It was during this trial that God demonstrated how Jesus' life and death are evidence of His unfailing love. He reminded me that He would never leave me nor forsake me. He told me that when Jesus was nailed to the cross, so were my sins. He told me that I am forgiven.

I have fallen in love with God and am convinced that nothing can separate me from His love. Now that I have Jesus, I know that I will never be condemned by my sins or this world again. I have decided to follow Him and the life God desires for me. I can't even begin to describe how awesome life is now that Jesus is my savior. I am eternally grateful. There is no more darkness to condemn me. God's mercies are new every morning. God constantly reminds me life here is temporary, and I am eternally his.

"My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior" (Luke 1:46-47).

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Posted by: Zach Hoag | 09/04/2009 | Leave a Comment(0)

If you listened to the podcast we just posted from last Sunday, you'll have a perfect lead-in to the video below.

This is the baptism itself which immediately followed the gathering at the church:

Dwell Baptism 2009 from Kevin Gannon-Parada on Vimeo.

And this is the perfect place to announce that we have a new page in the Transmission section for original Dwell videos such as this. Look for more in the near future.

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Posted by: Zach Hoag | 07/17/2009 | Leave a Comment(4)

Baptism is serious business.

Wait, one more.

Ok, ok. Those videos are fun - I have to admit it.

And while it is a serious, deep, and meaningful thing, baptism is fun, too - it is meant to be a joyful thing done out of the joy of knowing Jesus, not some dry ritual done out of religious obligation. (Ok, so I guess it's never a "dry" ritual, but you get my meaning.)

Dwell will be doing its second-ever Baptism and BBQ Bash at North Beach on Sunday August 30th. And if you are considering entrance into the waters of baptism, maybe this post will help you to better understand the ordinance.

I have lined up 3 B's to help define baptism for you, and I'll expound on each one. They are Belief, Birth, and Band. I'll explain.

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Posted by: Zach Hoag | 07/25/2009 | Leave a Comment(0)

In lieu of the fact that our audio failed us this week (check out this week's "best of" podccast), I figured I'd post some of the content from Sunday. The overall idea was simple:

You should all go logizomai yourselves.

We took a break from our Core Values series, which is basically all about our identity as a church called Dwell, to delve in a little deeper into a more important identity - our identity as followers of Jesus Christ.The fact is, if the kind of mission and multiplication we talked about on 7/12 is gonna happen in our city, we need power; and power comes, in part, when we gather to remember who we are.

Our text was Romans 6:1-14. And the central pivot point is verse 11: "So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."

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